a burden to share

By Sarah Amoros’ Ferguson (‘23)

some days
i wish the social worker took me with him. other days
i’m glad my mother exaggerated her role as a mom that
day he came
and i was able to stay.
i remember her hanging up all of my art around the
house,
on the fridge,
on the walls,
on her bedroom door
praying that the one thing her daughter was good at
would save our family
that hopefully
he would see my art
and think how happy i must be
here
but like most of us she is
both good and bad
except you never knew which she would wake up to be and
so every morning my brother and i would tiptoe past her
bedroom to catch a glimpse of what our day would look
like.
so here i am
explaining to you the strength it takes to balance both
at once.
explaining to you the result of not taking care of your
own well being.
explaining to you why no child should ever have to
carry their parents’ broken soul while they’re own has
barely developed.
why balancing both at once is bad.
why strong isn’t what children should be.
why children should be safe
not saviors.
and certainly not survivors.