Words

By Sara Weaver (‘17)
Published in Hemtera 2013

In the letter I apologized
and reconciled my flaws just
for you
I was naive and
ignorant about what
would bring you 
back

I thought running back to
you would make you
run back
to me

it’s me not you
it’s not you
it’s me

Sand in my eyes
obscuring the very details I
needed to be wrong
Solitude is
Easier when
cooperation
is dead

SILENCE
was easier to
digest 
Forgive me
was easier to roll
around on my 
tongue 
to test its weight

the word I
shoved 
out of my throat
with a force I 
wasn’t sure existed
in me

done

pulled from me kicking and
screaming 
with a force I wasn’t sure
I wanted to 
use

it’ll be okay
it’ll be okay

If I had a dollar for every time
 I said

I’m fine
everything’s fine
it’s fine

I would fill this void
sitting in my 
chest

If numbness were
a trade there would
be no better master
than 
me