By Rosa De Martinis (‘22)
doesn’t God hear His humble servant sob?!
can’t He feel the breaking of my heart’s veins?!
doesn’t he see my hands bleed from being pricked?!
look at me! you see there is no shelter protecting me!
WHY DON’T YOU SPARE ME?
i am stripped.
the rains are heavier than the sadness i carry.
the storm grows angrier and angrier with no sign of ending.
is this my punishment for a crime i unknowingly committed?
i paid my penance or have i not?
what sins lay upon my head?!
how much more do i need to prove my resilience?!
my very existence should be enough evidence of anguish.
in the morning after the storm, i look up to
the heavens hoping God acknowledges me.
i am not a lost sheep but a lonely one.
the birds are songless.
what is there to sing about?
torn like my heart, the uprooted trees keep the bent
sunflowers and myself company.
the feelings of betrayal are buried with yesterday’s pain.
how many times must i endure this cycle?
i know my creator and father hear me when i cry.
I let go of my anger and what used to grow here.
what is done is done.
maybe i am only meant to survive.
is my purpose first to bloom only to end up shivering?
what is the purpose of putting my hand in the flame when i only become burned?
there is nothing left for me where my soul sunk.
so i’ll seek refuge in the poppy fields.
in the valley of the jingling lilies right between the mountains from which my foreparents came, I lay.
the acres soothe my grief and I know I am embraced.
i fall asleep with comfort knowing rainbows are on its way.
i feel change like i feel the wind.
i cant do much right now but keep my faith and wait.
the harvest is soon and soon I will be smiling again to the moon
and singing to my fathers above me.
soon, i will bloom permanently with cornelias and lilacs.